Hikaruland

The New Season: CBS

2008-09-06T10:00:00.000-04:00

This review has been performed in front of a live DVR that is occasionally paused in order for me to type.

Wrapping up the previews of the new season is CBS, which I believe is still holding onto the top spot as the most watched network (ah, the joys of live blogging, I don't have to go hunting around for facts until after I finish my opinion).

As I'm not familiar with CBS's entertainment propaganda machine, I have no idea who Lara Spencer is, but apparently the Eye trusts her enough to be the face of this year's Fall preview bonanza.

First off, Worst Week--which I think is an adapatation of a UK sitcom. If you live in New York--or any major market city, you have seen the adverts for this show illustrated by a man in average shape (TV-wise, in real life he'd be 6 or a 7) wearing nothing but what looks like an adult diaper. Diaper man is apparently Sam and it looks like one of those shows (CBS at one point had two of them) where Joe Average (again a television Joe Average) has a knockout girlfriend and various humiliations occur to him. It is lightly amusing, but it looks like Kurtwood Smith will basically run away with this show. It's got the prime slot of right after Two & A Half Men, so the Eye is expecting a lot out of it.

Next, Lara--who looks suspiciously like Felicity Huffman--tells us about Simon Baker's new show The Mentalist. (Again, if you live in a major market, the ads for this have been heavily plastered all over town.) Personally, when I heard they were giving Simon Baker another show, I had to wonder..."why?" Yes, he's still good looking (a hell of a lot better looking than he was in The Devil Wears Prada, where he looked like he was trying to outdo Mickey Rourke in terms of bad facelifts), but if it didn't really happen for him with The Guardian, then why get him another lead? ENSEMBLE this man, CBS. Don't make him a lead, he's not that interesting. Anyway, The Mentalist is another one of those "quirky, ultra-observant man solves crimes" shows, which again, CBS does well. It sort of looks like a santised version of Dexter, except I guess Baker's character isn't going to kill anyone. If they don't give him a love interest and focus on the crimes, then there's hope. That being said, pairing it with NCIS? Why? This is much more a Monday or Friday night show.

Commercials--for things other than CBS.

When we return, Lara gestures excitedly about Jay Mohr's new sitcom, Gary Unmarried. Time for a personal admission: I watch Ghost Whisperer (I don't mind Jennifer Love Hewitt--Aquarian solidarity, you know--and David Conrad--who plays her husband and will be leaving this season supposedly--is great eye candy, even when you realise there is a 12 year age difference between them, it doesn't really matter). I thought that the writers were pretty much shoving his character in our faces because there was going to be a romance between the two of them. Apparently not. Gary Unmarried sounds and looks like All of Us without the ghetto sassiness (boo!), but with less annoying children (yay!) and no moral-of-the-week (HURRAH!). Still not going to go out of my way to watch it, despite having Paula Marshall, who is quite good. You'll have to toss in liberal amounts of Jay Mohr shirtless for me to become a regular viewer. Pairing it with The New Adventures of Old Christine is very wise, but seriously why steal from an old UPN sitcom?

Non-CBS commercials.

And we're back with Lara touting the latest Jerry Bruckheimer hour long action drama, Eleventh Hour. (Seriously, the man seems to run everything on CBS that isn't a comedy or news broadcast.) I'm actually intrigued by this because the ad campaign has given me no clue whatsoever as to what the show is about. Lara chirps that it's about some rackishly handsome scientist who solves crimes for the FBI when all other leads fail. Doesn't CBS have a show like this already called NUMB3RS? Leave Ridley Scott alone Jerry! Well, Rufus Sewell is no Rob Morrow, but he is more appealing to look at than David Krumholtz. The preview seems to suggest that the difference between this and NUMB3RS is that Eleventh Hour will deal with "scientific crimes"...and where science meets ethics, it looks like. I'll give Jerry credit, this looks intriguing even though Sewell's character isn't. It's coupled with CSI...of course.

If there's a serious weak link in CBS's new armour it's The Ex List. Lara's tone is ever-so-slightly sarcastic as she reads her propaganda copy, and can you blame her? This show has bomb written all over it based on the premise: Self-Absorbed Woman sees psychic, psychic tells her that her true love is one of her exes, Self-Absorbed Woman goes hunting down her (many) exes to find out which one it is. Wisely, they have upped the male flesh content (including gay male couple friends?) to make up for the daft storyline. Personally, I'm wondering if her problems could be quickly solved if she figured out why she's self-absorbed. It's after Ghost Whisperer on Fridays, and quite frankly, that might be the only way for this show to do well enough to survive to next season.

Commercials CBS and non, including one for The Unit, which is going to be interesting with Scott Foley leaving. (Why he's leaving, I don't know.)

Lara bids us adieu in record time, just quick enough to tell us to go to CBS's website.

Well, I have to withdraw my faint praise of NBC, CBS has the stronger Freshman roster this year. They also have the biggest possible turkey as well, with The Ex List.

The Circus Comes to Ozaukee County & 1000 Post Special Plans

2008-09-06T07:02:00.002-04:00

Am I glad that I'm out of the county until Election Day.

Mr. Nice & Mrs. Mean apparently were in Cedarburg. It does say something that those two went to the reddest of the red counties in Wisconsin. By the way, I've been to Cedarburg many times, I wouldn't in a million years describe it as a small town. (There is actually a Town of Cedarburg, which is small, but N&M were in the City of Cedarburg, which is pretty much a tourist trap for those who like antiques and dairy products.)

Perhaps it's a good sign of the times, but the Journal Sentinel is not endorsing Jimmy Sensenbrenner in the Republican primary, perhaps this might actually turn into (GASP) an endorsement for the Democrat in the district? I'll be optimistic.

By the way, coming up soon: The 1000th Post special! Believe it or not, this corner of the internet and my id has almost churned out 1000 posts. Feel free to drop a question or several in the comments section of this post.

If You Can Please Donate

2008-09-05T19:07:00.001-04:00

The multi-network Cancer initiative, StandUp2Cancer is tonight.

Given how much it's taken a toll on me this past year--as someone who has had several people close to me affected by it, I cannot stress how important it is that this disease in its many forms be fought.

The event may have a daft name, but its cause is just.

Can't Say I'm Surprised...

2008-09-05T17:11:00.000-04:00

Palin allegedly makes racist slurs.

She's Cheney in drag.

There's A Little Bit Something Strange About "Change"

2008-09-05T09:19:00.000-04:00

Mr. Nice last night told the country that he is the true candidate of change.

This made me think: If he's a member of the party in power, and the party that up until 2006 pretty much ruled everything with an iron fist, then he's arguing for a change much like a cadre of the Chinese Communist Party would say that he or she is for change.

Just a bit ironic in my view.

Meanwhile in Canada

2008-09-05T08:15:00.000-04:00

The Canadian PM is set to call an election, and believe it or not, the Conservatives are winning the polls.

Peculiarly it seems like voters like the Conservatives for economic issues and Liberals for environmental. Economy apparently trumps environment as the Liberals are coming in 2nd place.

There is a silver lining to all this, Jack Layton of the NDP (aka the party I wish was down here) is just managing to beat out Stéphane Dion (by 2 points). I don't mind Dion, but he is no Chretien and the fact that he is coming in 3rd behind Harper and Layton underlines this.

Mr. Nice comes to St. Paul

2008-09-04T23:04:00.002-04:00

I'm a POW.

War is bad.

I'm a POW.

But Iran is a threat.

I'm a POW.

I used to be cocky.

I'm a POW.

And so on and so forth for 45 minutes.

It seems that the tone McCain/Palin will take is one McCain being the kind grandfather and Palin, the vicious aunt/sister/nurse.

That being said, there were shreads of the 2000 McCain in there. He is very fortunate that the political climate is so anti-Bush that he explicitly slated his own party in his own acceptance speech.

Perhaps he was being ironic, but his story of losing his "selfish independence," was interpreted by me as McCain having his own catharsis about how he got (read: sold out for) the nomination.

Just...Nasty

2008-09-04T06:15:00.006-04:00

Perhaps it's me, but does the Republican National Convention seem well...unnecessarily nasty?

Some observations:

The attendees just keep yelling over the speakers who are actually on their own side.
Is the only thing these attendees can think to yell is "U-S-A?" The Olympics are over.
Giuliani makes a coded dig at New York City while lamenting the omission of September 11th from the DNC.
Not all terrorists are Islamic, Rudy, or did Oklahoma City never happen?
Maybe I'm dense, but does it seem to be a bit foolish to castigate the media...on primetime television?
John McCain is a POW? No, really? Really? I'm sorry I didn't hear that the 500 times previously.
Palin's speech basically said: "I'm a reformer, and a McCain/Palin administration would give you 4 more years of the last 8." That is, when she actually bothered to say anything that wasn't a dig at the Democrats. Lay out a program! Say something of substance! One must've had low expectations to call that speech "outstanding."

What has really surprised me though is that this past night has seen Republican ugliness and just plain old bigotry front and center.

Have they forgotten that they are the ones most at fault for this mess? Or is that too cruel a notion to contemplate?

The New Season: NBC

2008-09-02T17:00:00.001-04:00

There is some poetic justice in that one of the most omnipresent networks (mostly due to takeovers as opposed to actual creation) has been pretty much getting its rear end kicked by the former underdogs ABC & CBS. (Speaking of which, only last decade ABC was considered the inoffensive network and CBS the channel for the elderly.)

Now that I've taken my pleasure in ruffling the peacock's feathers, I have to admit something: NBC's new crop is probably the best out there. That said, that's more an indictment of the overall quality of the Freshmen shows for 2008-09 rather than an endorsement of NBC.

Either way, let's get on with it:

America's Toughest Jobs: It's already premiered, and I have to wonder why NBC would think that someone who hasn't seen the same type of "look at my job! Isn't it difficult? Isn't it dirty? Isn't it dangerous?" show on A&E/Discovery/National Geographic would be interested? So, in true NBC style, they turn it into a competition. Perhaps they are taking a gamble here, but the faith they seem to have in it must be minimal for it to premiere before Labor Day. Doubt we'll see it next year unless it's really cheap to produce.
Knight Rider: Give the Peacock credit, they are at least resurrecting their own show as opposed to the CW which brings an old FOX show back to life tonight. That said, the new Knight Rider movie did well, so it makes sense to see if the same audience that watched that will do the same. The creator managed to keep the inanity that was Las Vegas on air for much longer than need be, so this might limp its way into next year. Personally, I doubt it. Would the American public be all that interested in watching a car speeding every week, given the cost of gas? Would NBC be all that interested in paying for that to boot?
Kath & Kim: The fiance--who is Australian and a fan of the show--has very low expectations for this sitcom (which was originally Australian). Conversely, I think it will do well, and I also think it will be quite successful. When I first saw the original show on the late, lamented Trio network (oddly enough, gobbled by NBC and then obliterated), I couldn't understand a word the characters were saying--with captions! NBC's version does appear to keep the same spirit, which is about a spoiled mother-daughter duo with little common sense and lots of self-absorption. One thing NBC does well is nuture offbeat sitcoms. I reckon it'll get through the season with little trouble.
My Own Worst Enemy: Christian Slater tries to become relevant again by playing a man who lives a double life and apparently doesn't know about it. It's The Three Faces of Eve meets James Bond. It'll get some of the Heroes crowd, but seems too complex for its own good. In fact, it probably should've gotten the mini-series treatment first. Just might make it, but I doubt it.
Crusoe: Hands up if you heard about NBC doing a series adaptation of Robinson Crusoe. Anyone? Not even a peep? Good, I'm not alone (no pun intended). If this was a miniseries, I'd understand it, but the NBC website propaganda seems to indicate otherwise, and that seems like a very silly risk the peacock is taking. They might try to drum up the similarities to Lost, but this is classic literature we're talking about here. It may be classic potboiler literature, but it is classic nonetheless. The peacock will get the accolades for showing classics to the masses, and then quietly dump any remaining episodes on Bravo. "Watch what happens," indeed.

I say Kath & Kim makes it to next season with either Knight Rider or My Own Worst Enemy (not both) joining it, based on who gets the higher ratings on their USA Network repeats.

The Chickens Come Home To Roost

2008-09-01T23:11:00.002-04:00

This recent revelation about Sarah Palin's daughter certainly puts an interesting dent on any supposed moral superiority the GOP may claim to have.

I've been reading Commie Girl in the OC and one of the phrases that author Rebecca Schoenkopf has mentioned often is that the Right only cares about you until you're born and then you're on your own.

It'll be interesting to see if the holier-than-thou types will stick by this ticket. I have my doubts.

The fiance frequently says that when I go silent or terse that I am actually speaking volumes about where I stand on a subject. I reckon there will be a lot of silence amongst Republicans from here on in.

I suspect that this is the last gasp of the old Jerry Falwell wing of the GOP, and the next few years will see them go closer to the Centre (possibly even Center-Left on some occasions) and the Democrats go even further to the Left.

If this is the ultimate result, then I welcome it.

The Pain in The House

2008-09-01T21:29:00.000-04:00

In order to balance out this Labo(u)r Day's marathon festivities I went to the dark side: I watched part of the House of Payne marathon on TBS*.

*Clearly Turner knows that they have to aggressively market this show, because otherwise no one would watch it.

It was jaw-droppingly horrible and I have come to several conclusions:

La Perry is not only a hack, but one who refuses to grow as a writer.
La Perry is an insecure control freak and an incompetent director.
La Perry's casting choices are surprisingly inspired and better than the dreck they are given to speak.
I have never heard so many missed cues and poorly rehearsed lines on what I am assuming is a show not broadcast live. (I haven't even heard any live show be this poor, and given the hierarchy of power in television this responsiblity falls upon the directors and producers.)

My god, I weep for Allen Payne. Here is a man who is not only stunning, but also quite talented as an actor (take note of his work in the rarely seen 30 Years to Life and in the more widely seen Jason's Lyric), and he's reduced to joint eye candy/straight man role with Lance Gross (who has the potential to do well, if he ever makes it out of the Hades that is Tyler Perry Studios).

For all of its faults, the late UPN could've made this work well, but since the Tyler Perry Juggernaut is involved, there is nobody in the room willing to say no.

Pitiful, but what is even more tragic in my view is that the majority of the cast (regardless of their skill at their art) don't have that many options--if any--outside the Perry empire of dreck.

Labour Day 2008

2008-09-01T07:33:00.002-04:00

Well it's North American (except Mexico) Labour Day today, and I can't say that 4 months has changed the landscape that I brought up during International Labour Day.

At least candidate Obama sounds like he gets it.

From the "otherwise it will be awkward" department

2008-09-01T07:22:00.002-04:00

Georgia will not participate at next year's Eurovision in Moscow.

It's not that shocking that Georgia would pull out--"You just invaded us, but sure, we'll go to your capitol city to participate in a pan-continental singing contest with the highest amount of political voting in existence." Quite frankly, Georgia* could send a cow with a bell and rack up the sympathy points.

* For the record, I'm from the "all sides acted stupidly" school of thought in respect to the Georgian conflict...Like Atlanta is that important.

Point/counterpoint (Part II)

2008-08-29T13:14:00.002-04:00

Note the lower-case "c."

Having just heard Sarah Palin's speech in Dayton, all I can say is that the GOP has either lost their collective mind or really just wants to spend the next 4-8 years rebuilding.

Honestly, I spent most of it laughing.

They have one weak ticket this year and she is the weakest link. The only card they have left are identity politics, but that could be a tipping point for many.

Point/Counterpoint

2008-08-29T10:45:00.002-04:00

Obama/Biden meet McCain/Palin.

On one hand, you could say that this is identity politics, but I reckon that with identity playing such a major role, it may actually mean that they will have to actually focus on the issues.

As of this moment, it looks like another close election--for whichever party wins.

Without A Doubt...

2008-08-28T23:15:00.002-04:00

...That was a speech.

I only hope that the Congressional elections will help him fulfill half (and if we are truly fortunate, all) of those promises, because god, our problems are truly that bad.

Sometimes it would be nice if we just had a Prime Minister instead

2008-08-28T21:09:00.000-04:00

Not that it should be necessary, but just to underline the point: Yes, I am voting for Obama.

Yet something is amiss.

He doesn't stir me in any way shape or form. It's more case of he's the Democrat, I vote in Wisconsin, Wisconsin is generally a swing state, so voila.

Yes, I understand the importance of the first African-American nominee. I'd be a fool not to note it, but where is the genesis of the hype? (Personally, I have mixed feelings about the Obama = MLK connection, but I'm not the target audience.)

Or have some (not necessarily all) just finally come to the conclusion that the issues most always be more important than the ego?

I've watched the main speeches so far, and while my vote is a given, I find the issues and the plans for the future more stirring than anything else.

I find more solace in the upcoming Congressional elections rather than the Presidental ones, because at least I feel that these issues (health care, education, THE SINKING US DOLLAR) are going to be addressed. However, it seems oddly befitting of our indirect "my vote is really just a suggestion, if you don't mind" presidental electoral system, that we are being obsessively courted by both political parties to vote for a figurehead. (We just happened to have a really ignorant figurehead with several Machiavellis behind him for the past 8 years.)

The true power remains in the collective cacophony that is Congress, and that is where the true battles will be fought, it is where the most innovative ideas will be hatched, and it's where we will have to be vigiliant against the enemies within.

Sometimes I reckon that when we tossed the British out, we made up our minds to have a nation founded on being (irony intended) bloody minded at all costs.

Tuesday Jukebox Just Wants To Shake Its Thang

2008-08-26T08:48:00.003-04:00

About 15-18 years ago, MTV ran a promo that featured two "around the way" girls reacting to a supposed controversy over a music video they appeared in. For some bizarre reason, I still remember their lines.

ATW Girl 1: "They just told us to shake our thang..."
ATW Girl 2: "...real fast."

It is the spirit of those two girls (read: actors) that brings us to today's jukebox, featuring Japanese trio YA-KYIM, which seems to best personify Japan's answer to booty-shaking music.

To be blunt, these women are fierce performers when it comes to dancing. (Vocally, they're no SOULHEAD, but booty-shaking music is not so much about great singing.)

Let's start off with their latest Super Looper, which really seems to be...well, I have no clue what the video is all about, but it does make you want to shake it...fast.

YA-KYIM - Super☆Looper

We're going backwards in their career, which means that the next stop is 2007's Superstar.

YA-KYIM - Superstar

And our final stop for the day is the lyrically nonsensical, but damn catchy Happy The Globe Part II from 2005.

YA-KYIM [Happy The Globe Part II]

Bonus: Korea's own booty-shaker Moon Ji Eun's performance of Unsure Unsure from this past July. Considering how conservative Korea is, it's amazing that she got away with basically slutting it up for the cameras. (Although I reckon the lyrics are probably tamer than When I Grow Up.) The beat could be faster, but she certainly gives it her all (no double entendres intended).

Moon Ji Eun - Unsure, Unsure (20.07.2008 Inki Gayo)

Please Don't Rock Me...Baby

2008-08-24T23:05:00.003-04:00

New York is woefully unprepared to deal with earthquakes, says a study from Columbia University.

Even though I'm going to be leaving New York in less than a year, this is news I do not want to hear.

Hell, anyone who lives above the 3rd floor does not want to hear this!

Let's think happier thoughts about rocking:

Kara ~ Rock You
Uploaded by JonnyHill

The August Video Log: Better Late Than Never

2008-08-24T21:39:00.002-04:00

When will this month end?

Or is that the point of August?

All this in the out-of-sync video log for the eighth month of 2008.

Sunday Jukebox Goes Yugo(slav)

2008-08-24T20:16:00.003-04:00

While the August Video Log is uploading, let us go back...

Once upon a time there was a country that was communist with a little "c." Sure, the Communist party ran things and pretty much dictated what went on, but it liked to do many things outside of the Eastern Bloc, such as buy Western aircraft for the national airline, participate in multinational singing contests, and send chirpy ditties about men being pricks.

The bitter theme seemed to work well for the Yugoslavs, although some of the entries were a bit ahead of the time. Apparently, Brazil makes a lot of sense when you view it as a socio-economic commentary about that country as opposed to a song about some washed up singer trying to get her end over in South America.

Or maybe it was the woeful performance in Rome.

In my opinion, the Yugoslav entries were actually at their best in the 1970s, where you couldn't tell whether they were being darkly comic or just depressing.

1971 (And he really brought the bipolar emoting live)

1973

1974 (It is supposed to be wry, seriously)

1975 (The group's name translates as Blood & Ashes, by the way)

1976 (the ultimate "I-hate/love-you" entry)

Given what we know now, it is rather surprising that Yugoslavia's only win was with a song devoid of any emotion whatsoever...although it could be interpreted as a commentary on the rest of the world ignoring the fact that the country was going to fall apart at any moment.

On second thought, it's just a daft number that happened to just luck out.

When Criminals Don't Even Want Your Money...

2008-08-22T22:13:00.003-04:00

First it was the Supermodels saying they want to be paid in Euros.

Then it was shops in the US accepting Euros.

Now organised crime and drug dealers are--according to the ABC--wanting to conduct monetary transactions in currencies other than the Canadian & US dollars.

Ouch.

Friday Jukebox Goes Danish (part 2)

2008-08-22T11:48:00.001-04:00

It's Media Day here at this corner of the internet and the Jukebox is honouring/roasting Danish Eurovision entries from the 1980s and 1990s. On with the show!

1990: Lonnie Devantier may look and move like Denmark's answer to Tina Turner, but I don't think Tina will be covering Hallo, Hallo at any time in the near future.

1992: Alt det som ingen ser may sound like a classic German oompah-pah-pah band drinking song as sung by demure schoolteacher and a hair rock singer, but if you read the lyrics it's really about justifying one night stands. Damn catchy without a doubt.

1997: Denmark sends a rapper with a song about harassing the phone operator. Danish is oddly suited for orchestral rap.

1999: The song takes a second place to the interesting body language between sex-on-legs Michael, his confidence and slightly nervous Trine. I reckon it's better in Danish, myself.

We won't mention 2000...hehehehe.

Bonus: As much as I like Denmark, I have to say that Wogan really nailed the annoying presenters in 2001.

Then again, my personal taste was for the slick and cool Swedish presentation of the year before.

Friday Jukebox Goes Danish (part 1)

2008-08-22T10:25:00.001-04:00

With all those reports about Denmark being the happiest country in the world, I reckon it's time for a Danish Eurovision prespective.

1981: Denmark sends Danish Tommy Seebach and the US-born Debbie Cameron with a bouncy song about racial harmony.

1983: Denmark sends a perky woman in fashinonably ripped clothes to tell us that the world is spinning.

1984: Danish group Hot Eyes begins their 2 year run of representing Denmark. The first entry pretty much sets up the formula: do a 2-step to a happy synth beat, and a key change.

1986: Trax (supported by Danish dancers with rickets) tell us we are full of lies, even fact we're real all out scummy, but at least she's doing it to the jauntiest beat imaginable.

1988: Hot Eyes is back, and Kirsten is heavily pregnant. Whether there's a running gag here or not I'm not certain, but the song's title roughly translates as "Can you see what I said?" and it is sung by a chastising pregnant woman...

1989: Denmark gives perenninal Melodi Grand Prix runner up Birthe Kjær an ode to graffiti.

The New Season: FOX

2008-08-20T08:20:00.000-04:00

Alright, News Corporation Propaganda Arm, make me care about you*:
* Out of courtesy to the other networks, I'll keep my critiques limited to just the Fall premieres.

Do Not Disturb: Now this show has been getting lots of promotion. The idea is basically a retread of Faulty Towers, with Jerry O'Connell as Basil and Niecy Nash as Sybil, except they aren't married. This show is interesting in that it started out with O'Connell being the one with the show resting on his shoulders, and Nash just part of the ensemble. Now they are hyping up Nash as much as possible. Even more interesting is that I reckon that even if the show fails (and the odds are against them, let's be real), Nash's star will continue rising and O'Connell gets no career boost. Worth watching if only to see if there's any on-set tension spilling out into the performances.
Fringe: This is just as confusing as next year's Dollhouse, but at least it's being promoted that way. At the risk of turning people off, I am going to go out on a limb and say that if anyone can do drawn out make-it-up-as-we-go-long series, it's J.J. Abrams. The man made a show about a lovelorn college student extremely complex, engaging--complete with time travel--and it still seemed believable. I'll definitely give it a shot, and I reckon it'll stumble into another season. (Hell, Prison Break is still on.)