The Suicide Machine

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10120365.post-2436514287482582082007-06-22T12:09:00.001-07:002007-06-22T12:50:18.468-07:00The Suicide MachineI've got my 10-year high school reunion tonight. Strange how fast these things come up. I ran into an old classmate yesterday when I stopped in to see my parents. Marjorie was in town from D.C. for the reunion. I was driving my wife's "humble" '98 Cavalier and I saw her waiving at me as she walked down the street of our old neighborhood with her father. For a moment I was excited to see her, and then an instinct popped into my mind that sent me into a little panic: "She can't think this is the car I drive! What if she doesn't think I'm successful." Success. The idea made me feel a little nauseous and self-conscious all at once. Quite glamorously [sounding] she is "just visiting from D.C." and here I am, living fifteen minutes from the city we grew up in. Driving a '98 Cavalier. I guiltily pushed the feelings aside. I care about the kingdom, not cars and prestige, I said to myself (knowing it was barely half-true). Marj hugged me eagerly and asked what I was up to. The "American-Dreamon" (I just thought of that. Too cutesy? Offensive?) reared its head in me again and I answered, "I'm the branch manager at a credit union here in town." Not, "Oh, I work in finance." I had to throw a cheap title at her. I'll bet it looked pathetic. What is this need to impress - to prove worldly success? To say, "I made it"? The Kingdom of God shrinks us so that others might grow and be blessed. But our own nature is so backward. I want to talk about the Kingdom of God and Beatitude Life (peacemakers, meek, hungry and thirsty...) but I sure would love to be driving an Audi while I do - in case people wonder if I chose this life, or if I settled. But when I fight to prove myself by worldly standards, I AM settling. Settling for the world's economy: what Len Sweet calls a "Suicide Machine." please read more about my thoughts on the evolution of Christianity at <a href="http://emergingchristianity.blogspot.com/">http://emergingchristianity.blogspot.com/</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">* * * please read more about my thoughts on the evolution of Christianity at www.emergingchristian.com<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/10120365-243651428748258208?l=essenceproject.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Peterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08898344279654975005peter@emergingchristian.com1