tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10064929.post-69733197877857461222008-04-06T23:12:00.004-05:002008-04-17T16:43:19.984-05:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-STYLE: italic">After viruses, Trojan horses, worms, bots, and other spyware, the latest in computer malware started from mental health billing software. It is malicious code that gives your computer a </span>Personality Disorder<span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-STYLE: italic">. It might be difficult to detect, since every computer has a "personality." The following list should help distinguish "normal" computer "quirks" from actual pathology.</span> <div><br /></div><div>How to recognize the types identified thus far:</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Antisocial</span></div><div><ul><li>Sells your private info to other ASPD computers on network<br /></li><li>hogs processing power from other programs, corrupting their files in doing so<br /></li></ul></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Avoidant</span></div><div><ul><li>information in hard drive will not come out<br /></li><li>Chat programs malfunction unless friend rating is 100%<br /></li></ul></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Borderline</span></div><ul><li>the screen becomes all black and white<br /></li><li>sudden appearance of multiple users inaccessible to the main user/administrator<br /></li></ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Dependent</span></div><ul><li>computer cries when you try and shut down<br /></li><li>has greater impact on laptops, which cease working when you detach from dock and leave home with it<br /></li></ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Histrionic</span></div><div><ul><li>the graphics improve dramatically, but when you try and zoom in for more detail, the page disappears<br /></li><li>when recalling saved documents, key words are missing<br /></li></ul></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Narcissistic</span></div><ul><li>the processor and RAM always indicate more power and memory than actually available;<br />when you try and correct these errors manually, the drive crashes<br /></li><li>Desktop photo and screensaver are pictures of itself<br /></li></ul><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Obsessive-Compulsive</span></div><div><ul><li>spellcheck is always on<br /></li><li>errors of Boolean logic and basic computer code occur, because the processor cannot decide between 0's and 1's<br /></li><li>Will not allow you to empty trash/recycle bin<br /></li></ul></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Paranoid</span></div><ul><li>webcam is always on<br /></li><li>there is a delay between typing characters and seeing words on screen because the processor is trying to analyze hidden commands </li></ul><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Passive-Aggressive</span></div><div><ul><li>applications freeze unexpectedly, and just as you are about to give up and restart, they start up again, and then freeze right before you try and save your work<br /></li><li>the keyboard is frequently charged with static electricity<br /></li></ul></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Schizoid</span></div><div><ul><li>keyboard will not operate if touched by skin<br /></li><li>the screen only operates in grayscale<br /></li><li>all photos become black outlines<br /></li></ul></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Schizotypal</span></div><div><ul><li>all fonts become mixed together and formatting changes randomly<br /></li><li>sudden responses to infra-red signals from distant devices<br /></li><li>mp3s start playing backwards<br /></li></ul></div>K-FOAGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16268101825551469282noreply@blogger.com